"Did I Matter?"

I love old people. There’s just something about sitting down with someone who’s experienced 7, 8, even 9 decades of life that makes me want to glean all of the wisdom I can get out of a life well lived. And yes, most elderly people are more than willing to share each precious memory from their past.

But as they reflect on good times and bad, I find that the underlying question they seem to be asking is “did I matter?” At my funeral will my children gather and say that what I taught them has lived on through their children and grandchildren? Will my friends that outlive me say that I inspired them to pursue more out of life? Or better yet- did I leave this world a little better than how I found it?

My incredible pastor, Kevin McClure talks regularly about pursuing the passions that God has placed in our hearts and receiving all that the Lord wants to give us. He says your experiences, your temperament, your gifts and talents, and even your hurts have uniquely designed you to fulfill a role and purpose that no one else can.

It’s difficult for me to believe at times that God actually wants me to pursue the passions He’s put in my heart. For me that means stepping out in ways that terrify me, believing that He will fulfill His purposes for me. With each step I take in faith, I find that I simply cannot go back and live in that wishful state of being. I lived in quiet complacency for too long, while secretly shoving my passions back into the storehouses of my heart.

Psalm 112 says “a righteous man will be remembered forever” and that “he will have influence and honor.”  If you are in Christ, He makes you righteous. And that sounds like a couple of promises I’d like to see delivered in my life. I want the legacy my husband and I leave our children and beyond, to be one of audacious faith that storms that gates of heaven and gives God no rest until we have received all the promises He has spoken to His people. 

So if you happen to be around me when I’m old, grab a chair next to me. I’m sure I’ll love to talk your ear off.