What a difference a year makes. July 2009 I experienced the worst bout of insomnia I’ve ever had. I’ve always been prone to a rough night of sleep. My mind runs day and night, never quite able to turn off. And a few times my body has kept me awake trying to give me a message, like when I was unknowingly pregnant or when I needed to have an important conversation with my husband.
I’m against sleep medication for myself. I prefer to fix the problem instead of masking the symptoms. I did everything I could think of to fall asleep. I tried to unwind an hour before bed. I installed new blinds to make the room as dark as possible. I removed the blazing blue clock that continually reminded me how many hours I had not been sleeping. And my snoring husband was condemned to the couch. Nothing helped. Most nights my mind simply couldn’t achieve the sleep my body desperately needed. It is beyond frustrating when something so simple becomes so complicated.
Weeks of surviving on 1-3 hours of sleep a night left me utterly exhausted and in a zombie state- impossible to take care of 3 rambunctious kids!
One night after unsuccessfully trying to sleep for several hours, I said to the Lord “What on earth is going on? I constantly harass You with my prayers for sleep. Psalm 127:2 says that You grant sleep to those You love and I know You love me. Please show me what the problem is!”
Almost immediately I fell into a deep sleep. I dreamt that in my basement was a man dressed in black. He was using a miter saw to cut small pieces of wood and a small hammer to hit the cement floor. The next morning when I remembered the dream, the phrase “the enemy’s trying to tear down your house” came to mind. As I pondered that it became pretty clear. The man in black was working hard to be destructive. Then I realized the tools he had to work with would not be the first choice in a demolition. But they sure made a lot of noise.
A few days later my pastor was talking about the authority we have over the enemy in Jesus and how to pray against him. So I stood up and claimed that authority. And slept soundly that night.
I can count the number of times I’ve clearly heard the Lord speak to me on one hand- not often. But when He answers prayer, He really answers prayer. The insomnia improved greatly but He also revealed in the coming weeks some physical problems keeping me from sleep. Adrenal fatigue proved to be the main problem and blood work later confirmed hypothyroidism that I’m working to fix.
A year later with the help of some amazing supplements and continual prayer, I’m sleeping well. Occasionally I’ll have a rough night but nothing like last summer.
I can still feel the enemy trying to tear me down in other ways but at least now I can fight on a full night’s sleep.
This is a great post, and one I can completely relate to. I struggle with insomnia as well. It has ocurred for me off and on since I was younger. Currently I am doing really well. But there are stretches of time that it comes, and I know exactly what you are talking about with the clock, etc. I will try to remember this post next time it comes.
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